Depression
I sometimes suffer from bouts of depression. They usually last anywhere from three to six weeks. You will notice that I have been absent from SeanDareOnline.com for a while and…well…you guessed it, I was depressed.
I sometimes wonder if I should go on some sort of happy pill. I understand that it will regulate my depression to a manageable level. On the flip side my depression comes in infrequent waves and isn’t debilitating. It feels more like I really tired and have no ambition or energy. I still make it to work but my drive to complete personal projects, like posting to my blog, seems to dry up during these times. I am curious what you my faithful readership think. Would you suggest I go on medication for depression? If so, would you recommend it to yourself if you felt like I do? I tell you it takes a lot to admit you are “broken” and that you need medical help. It isn’t as easy as it sounds.
All of this to say I am feeling better now and hope to pour out a steady stream of posts that have been bouncing around my head.
Stay tuned!
- Sean
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Sean: Only your doctor knows if you should be on some anti-depressant medication. But, if you are asking yourself and us your faithful readers, you should be asking your doctor or a counselor. Preferably both.
I also must tell you that anti-depressant medications are not happy pills. Many of todays medications regulate the chemical levels in the brain. As you know, I am on welbutrin, take it every day and thank our Lord for its existence.
Sean, I was experiencing many of the same symptoms you have described around your writing in my personal life. I even would take you to your description of writing and rewriting and never feeling as if the story was good enough. You also describe struggling to think you way through some of your writing. I often felt as if my thinking was “muddy and unclear”. As the medication began to take effect, ( it can take up to six weeks for the medication to start to work” my thought processes became more clear. My thoughts came more quickly and my energy level increased. The modern medications help the synapses in the brain fire more efficiently, and more nuero transmitters are involved in the firing of the synapses. The phrase happy pills refers to much older medications that artificially altered ones mood and gave a false sense of healing.
With respect to your periods of depression lasting 3-6 weeks, mine to originally. But as I have studied and learned and looked back over several years of my life, I realize, I was on the edge sometimes above the line of neuro transmitters functioning and sometimes I would drop below. But in October of 06, I dropped below and my natural chemical interactions were not able to compensate and I stayed below the level and kept dropping. Not to sound fatalistic, but I fear that will happen to you as well. Ultimately it happens to most men who suffer with depression. Male depression is very different from female depression and is mostly undiagnosed because most men will self medicate with alchohol. And will become obsessive about work, sex, sports, pornography etc. We will find something to keep our mind moving and active, and most of them are destructive.
I will submit that a diagnosis from your doctor and a slight dosage per day, might work wonders in lifting the fog that inhabits your brain sometimes, and inhibits your creative efforts and will give you more emotional, physical and creative energy.
I will also say that it is weaker for a man to deny an issue and it is stronger for a man to look an issue straight in the eye and ask for the professional help he needs.
Your last question, would I recommend it to myself. I already did and it is one of the best decisions of my life.
If any of your readers would like to hear more of my story in detail, I would be pleased to provide it. Men of this blog, ask for the help if you even suspect you might need it. There are waaaay too many men in our world with some level of undiagnosed depression and the worst thing we can do is ignore it.