Great Feedback!
I got some great feedback from my Essay post on Friday. I have held off on posting all weekend to allow more people to read it. So if you are reading this post and are wondering what post I am referring to, check out Magic in the Morning, which is posted just below this post.
I heard two main criticisms concerning the Magic in the Morning post. One, the word “gray” was used a little too much. After hearing this, and then re-reading it, I agree. I wanted to make sure everyone got that it is incredibly gray in the woods after a rain, escpecially in the early morning. I guess I went a little overboard. Two, the bathroom sequence was distracting. I also agree, and I thought about that when I was writing it, but I didn’t want the character not go to the bathroom and have some reader out there say, “hey, he didn’t go to the bathroom!”. The comment that stuck with me was that it seemed to distract the reader. That is a big No-No in writing. Your reader should loose themselves in the story. If something I write distracts them to the point they are no longer absorbed then I have made a mistake. But hey, that is what these exercises are for aren’t they?
A note on that last comment. I want to use SeanDareOnline.com as a sort of crucible. For those who don’t know, a crucible is a container that is heated to extreemly high temperatures. Inside you place impure metal, usually ore containing gold or silver. Once the crucible has reached a certain temperature, and the ore inside has melted, the metal smith will pour off the material that has risen to the top which is called dross. The dross is the impurities of the metal ore. In effect the crucible purifies the metal ore. I want SeanDareOnline.com to purify my writing. So keep those comments coming! 
One last note. I don’t really see ghosts when I am camping. I just feel connected to the past and to God when I am in the woods. I thought the ghosts would make a good illustration of that point.
Special thanks to the commentors:
- My Aunt Jan
- My Uncle Pat
- My friend Tom, who has a blog by the way!
- Sean
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Frankly, Sean, I was not distracted by your “bathroom” sequence. To me, as a former camper, it was “reality.” I also was “lost” in your description of the beautiful “gray” morning - no offense to the other critics - but not being an author, I identified with your “morning experience.” Again, thank you for a thoughtful step into the past. I look forward to your further postings. Aunt Jan
Thank you! It is nice to know you appreciate the finer aspects of camping like I do!
- Sean