SeanDareOnline.com

Part 1

The edge of the plastic chair dug into the back of Franks thighs cutting off the circulation to his legs. His legs were numb but he didn’t notice. He was leaning forward, elbows on knee’s, flipping through a People magazine. He looked at the pictures of celebrities in glamorous clothes and wondered if they ever felt anxiety or pain. He didn’t think so. At least you wouldn’t think so by looking at the pictures on the pages. He got to the end of the magazine and tossed it on the end table. Having already looked through all the magazines on the table next to him he stood up and walked over to see what magazines the other end tables had to offer.

He picked up a Field and Stream and began flipping the pages looking at the beautiful scenery. He paused on a picture of water flowing over rocks in a mountain stream. Something about its pristine beauty brought a moment of peace. By the time he heard the door open behind him he was back to flipping pages. Dropping the magazine on the side table he turned around and saw Dr. Green coming toward him, zig zagging his way through the rows of plastic chairs. Dr. Green wore green scrubs complete with green booties over the shoes and a green cap on his head. The scrubs had a faint streak of crimson across the chest. Frank looked at Dr. Green’s eyes as he approached. There was something different about the eyes. The eyes were darker than he remembered, and deeper. Frank’s insides tightened. Unconsciously he took a half step backwards before he stopped, squared himself and forced himself to say “How is she?” Dr. Green said “Frank, I…I have some bad news.” then he looked down at his hands, paused for a moment before saying, “She didn’t make it.” Frank felt the floor shift beneath his feet. He stared at Dr. Green. Dr. Green looked up from his hands and without taking his eyes off Frank’s he said, “There was nothing we could do” then, looking back at his hands, he continued, “a blood clot broke loose and lodged in her brain.” Frank looked intensely at Dr. Green. Dr. Green shifted his weight under Frank’s gaze and said, “I’m sorry.” Frank didn’t speak. Dr. Green waited. Finally, in a raspy voice, Frank asked, “Can I see her?” Dr. Green paused for just a moment as if collecting his thoughts and said, “Sure, just give us a few minutes. I will send a nurse to get you when we’re ready.” Frank nodded and Dr. Green looked down, turned away and left. Frank stood there feeling disjointed and awkward, like he was being suspended from the ceiling by unseen cords. He stared silently at the door for a moment then, without consciously realizing he was doing it, he sat down in one of the plastic chairs and closed his eyes.

Frank’s back hurt, so did his hands. The leather gloves he was wearing provided some protection, but the constant strain of using the rake was taking it’s toll. It was time for a break. He stole a quick glance over at Susan, maybe 10 steps away. He picked up a large batch of leaves with his rake, holding the clump of leaves to the tines with his free hand. Just as he cleared the lip of the trash can he twisted hard releasing his grip on the leaves while making sure to hold tightly to the rake handle. The leaf bundle started disintegrating as soon as Frank let go. He could see they weren’t going to close the distance. As the leaves settled about 4 feet away from Susan she stopped raking, looked hard at Frank and said,”Did you just throw leaves at me?” Frank didn’t answer. Susan pushed her rake away and started walking towards Frank, “I said, did you just throw leaves at me?” Frank started to smile, “Wasn’t me, must have been someone who looked like me.” Without breaking stride Susan bent over and picked up a clump of leaves. As she drew near she said, “I will teach you not to throw leaves at your wife!” Frank was ready for her and ducked the incoming leaves. He reached down to gather his own but Susan was too quick. She picked up the trash can and started dumping the leaves onto his back and shoulders. “Ahhhh! You’ll never take me alive!” Frank said as he lunged for Susan’s legs. He wrapped his arms around her thighs, hoisted her up on his broad shoulders, and carried her to the pile of leaves they had gathered in the corner of the yard for composting. “Frank, don’t you dare! Frank!” Frank bent his knees, and gently tossed her on the soft pile. Then he picked up a clump of leaves and threw them at her. In return he got a clump of leaves in the face. He jumped into the pile next to her and they both started throwing leaves at each other as fast as they could. Finally Frank yelled, “Why don’t you leaf me alone!” Susan, now on her knees, was laughing at the terrible pun. She waded on her knees to him and put her arms around his neck. “Why did you start it?” she asked. “I told you I didn’t. I am innocent. I swear.” Frank’s face betrayed him though. Susan shook her head slightly while saying, “Uh huh. Just kiss me.” Frank did as he was told.

Joan called to him from the fence at the edge of their property. She probably wanted them to stop getting leaves into her yard. “Mr. Evans.” Why was Joan calling him “Mr. Evans”? She always called him Frank…”Mr. Evans!”, the nurse’s voice rose slightly with worry. Frank slowly opened his eyes and looked at the nurse. Relieved the nurse said, “Dr. Green sent me to get you.” Frank nodded, stood up and followed the nurse as she led him through a maze of corridors and nurses stations stopping at room 316. The door was open and the room was bathed in fluorescent light. Susan lay on a flat bed with white sheets. She was wearing a new hospital gown that looked white under the lights. Her hair was loose over her shoulders. Her feet were bare. Her arms were folded across her abdomen. When his gaze fell on her face he noticed Her skin was pale and her eyes were closed. She looked asleep.

Frank moved to the side of the bed. He looked at her face. Without thinking he reached down and stroked her auburn hair. Then he brushed the side of her cheek with the back of his fingers. Her skin was cold. Frowning he pulled his hand back, looked at it, and rubbed the spot where his fingers had touched her skin. Susan was supposed to be warm and alive not…not…like this. Again, he closed his eyes. If anyone had been there they would have seen tears begin to slide down his face.

Frank wasn’t sure how long he stood there. He was pulled back by someone tugging at his sleeve. “Sir…are you alright?” It was a different nurse this time. She was looking at him earnestly. Frank didn’t answer her. Instead he looked at Susan. He wished he could hold her again. Hold her so close and so tight that she would become a part of him. He wished she could soak into him, could live inside him, live in his blood. Instead he let his eyes take in the sight of her. He memorized her face, her shape under the gown, her bare feet. He memorized how her hands looked one folded on top of the other and how her lips were slightly parted. He traced her outline with his eyes over and over and over. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath letting it out slowly through his nose. Without saying a word, he turned and walked out of the room.

To be continued…

- Sean